


Same Coin, Flip Side

by karrenia_rune



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Heart-to-Heart, decision-making, mother's dayfest, pre-series challenge: wherenowoman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-08
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:11:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karrenia_rune/pseuds/karrenia_rune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Amsha and Richard Bashir's painful decision to have their son, Jules, genetically engineered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Same Coin, Flip Side

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine belongs to UPN, Paramount, and its respective producers and creators; it is not mine and the characters who appear here or are mentioned are only  
'borrowed' for the purposes of the story. Written for the 2011 LJ community Where No Woman has Gone Before Mother's Day Fest.

"Same Coin, Flip Side" by karrenia

No one can know the wrenching grief and sorrow to bear witness to your child struggling to keep up and despite one's best efforts only to watch him fail.

The stages of grief and mingled air are many and varied but in the end she has come to realize that it is not the child’s fault. Perhaps the blame if blame were to be assigned lies with her. Maybe she was not as careful as she should have been during the pregnancy. Maybe it’s merely a genetic fluke and the boy will either grow out of it given enough time.

It’s a difficult subject not only to reconcile within her own mind, but one that she and her husband, Richard, dance around and avoid discussing. But even without the words Amsha Bashir can tell that it’s there, like a wall.

After five years of watching young Jules fall farther and farther behind his peers that wall has grown brick by brick, stone by stone until her heart felt like stone.They have gone over the matter in a desultory sort of fashion; talking in circles around the central issue without ever coming to a concrete decision. They both have recognized that this is an avoidable and difficult subject. Amsha knew without any more weighing of the pros and cons that they need to take steps to tear down that proverbial stone wall.

If someone, somewhere does not open up the lines of communication once more it will be their son that pays the price, regardless of whatever else happened in their relationship. This boy might very well be the only child that she might ever have; and her heavy heart cannot bear to see him struggle much longer. Something had to be done, but what?

The day she’d chosen to have it out with her husband had been carefully chosen; her background and her upbringing and Richard’s chosen field did not allow for much room for her, as a woman to maneuver, but Amsha was bound and determined to see it through. Could she really afford to let her own doubts get in the way of what was best for their son? No, she told her, ‘I cannot afford that.’

She found Richard in his office hunched over his drafting table poring over the blueprints of his latest project. The patter of her light footsteps on the plush carpet alerted at once to her presence in office immediately and he looked up.

“Again?” he asked. “Do I even need to ask as to what brings you in here at this late hour?” Richard knew without having to press the matter that his wife got a certain steely glint in her eyes these days and a set to her slender shoulders when it comes to the subject of their only son and his welfare. Amsha Bashir is normally quite demure and proper but underneath he imagined that there is an inner core of strength; it’s what first drew him to her and then formed into friendship and now a solid marriage.

Now that inner strength and stubborn will is now set against him not as an individual but against she perceives as his willful refusal to go down the steps of the path that might lead to a future for their son.

“You know that I support the decision we made, but I don’t see that we must rush into it,” he said aloud.

“Again, or not ever? When it’s too late?” She smiled, but it was a tight thin-lipped one and it did not reflect in her eyes.  
Richard sighed and said: “You realize that we’re proposing is not only dangerous but illegal?”

“Don’t patronize me, Richard! I realize that genetic enhancements for any reason, except dire and chronic medical conditions are illegal in the Federation.” She realized that her breathing had become rather shallow and that she had been shouting. She took a deep breath and then reached up to rub her slender dark-skinned fingers along her temples to ward off an oncoming head ache and calm her racing thoughts.

“The only place that would perform such a procedure is on Angelon Prime,” he replied. “And Amsha it might not even work. It might leave Jules worse off than he already is.”

“And if we do nothing, if we allow him to continue the way he is, what then? It will be our fault, and do not presume to tell me that the blame will fall solely on my shoulders. The fault will be as much mine as it is yours.”

“Damn it!” exclaimed Richard. “I know! I know. Amsha, I love Jules, and I want everything that is best for him. I also realize that you think that I‘m dragging my feet on taking the next step is my being selfish…..”he trailed off and reached up finger-comb the snarls out of his hair.

“We go forward with this there might not be any chance to turn back.” He stepped away from the drafting table and came around to reach out and take her hands in his: it was as much his unspoken way of acknowledging the need to make a decision, to take action on that decision.

“I know,” she whispered.“

He bent forward and whispered. “I’m sorry, and I love you and Jules. I’d do anything for both of you.”

She titled her head up to look him in the eyes and said. “I know, Richard."

“Then we’re agreed. We go through with this and we don’t look back.” Richard heaved a sigh.

“One way or another we see this through, together,” she replied and tightened her embrace around him; they stood that way for a long while and there were tears in both of their eyes; mingled joy and sorrow and relief that the decision that they had circled around for so long had at last been made and would be acted upon. It was late but neither felt inclined to go to bed quite yet, tomorrow would come soon enough and then they would begin making contacts and plans to travel to Angelon Prime, however for this moment they would allow themselves this time alone together.


End file.
